There's a new Joker in town
by TheMasterWizard
Summary: ...and its none other than you. Alternate universe of Suicide Squad where the Joker (Spoilers) did die in the helicopter crash. Based off of the oneshot by jetrayf. Read this before you read mine. (/art/Harley-Quinn-x-Male-reader-626926616) P.S. Sorry for any grammatical mistakes, OOCness or anything else that might make this story suck. Hope you enjoy.


There's a new Joker in town

Chapter 1: Newborn

 **3** **rd** **person POV**

"Heh eh eh eh eh eh. Ha ah ah ah ah. HA HA HA AH AH AH AH AH! HA HA AH AH AH! HOOOOOOOOOO BOY I FEEL FRESH!" You laughed as you got to your feet. You were the new Joker, and there was nothing else to it. You exhaled, "Man this is all kinds of amazing. I'm new and strong and…..naked. Why am I naked? One of you guys gimme some clothes." You said to the group of goons that were there.

"Here, boss." One of them said, and handed you a trench coat, which you then tied up and looked at your savior and creator and new girlfriend, Harley Quinn, whose clothes you noticed were dissolving due to the chemicals that made you the new Joker, "And something for Harley, too." You said.

"Aww, thanks puddin'. So considerate." Another goon handed her a shirt that she then put on. It covered her to her inner thighs, so all was good.

"The least I can do for my new girlfriend." You said.

"Aww, you mean it?" Her eyes widened and she clenched her fists in expectation.

"Of course. You made me the Joker, which makes you my Harley. Aren't I quite right?"

"Puddin'!" She threw her arms around you, to which you responded with a hug of your own, lifting her up and spinning yourselves around.

"But now, to business." You said as you put her down, "I assume you all know what we're going to do next?" You asked the group of goons.

"We're gonna make a plan to kill Batman?" One of them guessed.

"Wrong." You corrected, "The next order of business….is to find me and my sugar" You looked at Harley, "some new clothes."

"Oh, that'll be easy." A goon said, "All we gotta do is get back to the hideout."

"Excellent." You said, "Let's go."

*Time skip to your new hideout*

"So," You said, "Waddya got for me." You and a group of three goons were standing in an abandoned warehouse next to an oil barrel that currently had no oil but was being used for fire so as to give light to the huge room. There were others of course, but they were standing next to this one that was just chosen at random.

"Here's this, boss." A goon said as he handed you a purple jacket made of crocodile leather, "Somethin' like this was the first Joker's."

"Crocodile leather? Hilarious." You took the suit and dropped into the fire," No. I want a purple trench coat."

"Uhh, sorry boss. I don't think we got any 'sides the one you're wear-"You took the pistol from the goon's holster and fired at him. The bullet hit the container and almost grazed his right ear.

"I said" You leaned closer until your face was half an inch away from his. You started talking slowly with a slight deeper tone to your voice, "I want a purple trench coat."

"Y-y- yeah boss. A trench coat."

"And you're going to get me a purple trench coat," You shot another bullet, putting another bullet hole in the container, this time missing his left ear, "right?"

"Y-y-yeah boss." The goon's voice was too quiet for your liking so you shot a third, putting another hole above right above his head.

"I couldn't here you!"

"O-of course boss! You'll have it before the end of the day."

"Excellent. See to it. Also, I want a want T-shirt, a pair of black jeans and some tennis shoes. And, of course, boxers and socks. Now get to it." The goon ran off and you gave the gun to another goon.

Just then, you heard Harley's voice from around the corner of the container, "Waddya mean you lost the song? You know what? Screw it. Just take my phone and hit random. No, just hit random. OK. Three, two-" Then you heard a song playing as Harley along with two goons, with one holding a phone, stepped around the corner

 _I'm a bitch_

 _I'm a lover_

 _I'm a child_

 _I'm a mother_

 _I'm a sinner_

 _I'm a saint_

"Ok, turn it off" Harley said. The goon with her phone stopped the song, "That wasn't the right song. That was not the right song.

"nice entrance."

"Ya really think so?" Harley asked you.

"Sure. And I love what you're wearing." You complimented her attire. She was wearing a T-shirt that showed her stomach and said "Daddy's Little Monster". Her hair was in pigtails and she was wearing nothing but a pair of jeans cut so much, they might as well have been underwear and fishnet stockings on the lower half of her body and she had heels for shoes. In other words,

"This is exactly what I was wearing before."

"Like I said." You replied.

"Aww. You sure know what to say to a woman."

"And you'd better believe it." You said as she walked up closer to you. You put your arm around her and brought her closer, "After all, you helped me."

"How?" She asked

"You made me me. Before, back when I was in that prison, I was just an easily-annoyed, tough-acting prisoner, when in reality I was just putting on a face and was easily frightened. Now that you've changed me, I can't think of a thing that can scare me or even intimidate me.

"But that's all you." She insisted.

"All me maybe, but only because you made me. I have only you to thank." You pulled her in for a kiss, which she met happily. However, you looked and saw the four goons standing there, looking at you too, "Do you all mind going away? This is kinda private." After which they all walked away. Then you and Harley resumed the kiss. You could _not_ lie to yourself. You loved this. You were going to have fun as the new Joker. When you get your clothes that is. For now, you just enjoyed the kiss shared between you and Harley.

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 **Also, as you can see, I'm a big fan of Hellsing Ultimate Abridged by Team Four Star.**

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 **It's ya boi MasterWizard and I'm out.**


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